I should have a warning label on me saying "Warning! 1) Takes things literally and seriously. 2) Tends to over-read things. Friendly guys beware."
What about you?

I'm doing some writing assignment (pair work! with a guy who's quite my opposite. i'm too emotional and personal while he's too prim and proper and detached. In our writings, that is) and my peer review partner/writing assignment partner alerted me to this belief that the world will end in 2012 (which, according to wikipedia, is cos 'December 2012 marks the ending of the current baktun cycle of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar' (as if i understand what that means))

If everything really ends in 2012, I'll feel regrets cos I haven't been to Africa to see the wildlife. (wildlife photography being one of my dreams). and so on. (no time and energy to think. December, I promise!) sighs.

---

After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.

...

I don't want to get up, just let me lie in,
leave me alone, I'm a twenty something.

Maybe I'll just fall in love that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more. Ooooh

Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.

doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah

I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.

- twenty something, Jamie Cullum

I'm supposed to have studied 2 of Shakespeare's work at tertiary level. :S I need to buck up!

the morning sun's about to break,
i'm looking in as you create someone,
you lift your head and brush your teeth,
and make your bed as if you won't sleep again,
you fix your hair and tie your shoes,
and tuck your shirt and now you feel new.

the glass is full, the glass is broke,
and every day dissolves and there's no hope
of ever leaving this temporary life.
of ever leaving this temporary life.

you may ask yourself "is there anyone so alone?"
but there's no beep before the dial-tone
when you pick it up to see who called
if there is it's probably your mom

but, oh, the rising sun brings little cheer
to this city with the stolen name
and you're wondering whose bright idea
it was to pack your things and leave your friends
and move down here.

- hah.

Tumblr is really quite a wondrous thing (it's to do with the way people use it, of course).

It's pretty funny. It's where introverts congregate in a pseudo-social way to share things that mean a lot to them. I got inspired (to use the word lightly) to write this cos one of them said this:
"perhaps i should stop blaming myself for being an incorrigible introvert.
perhaps there is a reason for my silence"
I can identify with the term 'incorrigible introvert'. I'm stubbornly antisocial (ya la partly to do w social ineptness too)
It sounds self-indulgent but I find it meaningful.

It's also woken me to the beauty of photographs (i think i may be able to discern a pattern from the things i like if i keep this up). Every photograph is a window to another world your mind doesn't let you wander to, for practicality's sake.
Through a fellow fanatic (I'm one subconsciously) I got reminded of Jonathan Safran Foer (i must buy his books to 细细品尝).
And quotes. Thanks to tumblr, I've added quite a few to my treasury.

All kinds of things (thoughts, actually) happen in lit classes (particularly the HL106 one actually. the tutor is damn stimulating. You don't get the sense he's agreeing and peppering "OK...", "That's interesting..." (as another tutor does) for the sake of it. He churns out challenging questions almost immediately and pushes you to think harder.)

I expressed my view about how self-expression through fashion for modern society is a way of projecting one's identity, but it doesn't entirely define one's identity; it's just one aspect of one's image, which in turn is part of one's identity. This opposes what Henry David Thoreau (I find myself preferring him over Emerson, q against my will, since Emerson's so big xP) proposes, that one should wear new clothes to mark a new stage of life in terms of self-development. I got snubbed by this intellectual guy (and again later hah). He makes me feel dumb, but it's for a good cause: to make me smarter.

Then there's this guy who confesses he's nihilistic (w/o knowing the term for it). I dno how that came abt, probably cos he finds Thoreau too idealistic. But I think it's funny, cos I've been through it, sort of. And my way of dealing w it is nowhere near sophisticated/philosophical/intellectual. More like practical and spiritual (particularly Buddhism).

Have I mentioned I found out Buddhism suits me becos of the poem (dubiously one) I wrote during the geog trip? Underlying it are realisations about how life is made up of moments, and they are only as connected as you want them to be, at your expense in some cases. Sth like that. This is a suddent rant. x)

Back to my bout of nihilism (yeah in my opinion it's a disease. or maybe a necessary struggle).The awareness of having to live an examined life and be aware of your purpose behind what you're doing is necessary but it doesn't have to be drowned in pessimism, hopelessness and immobility (i think there's another term, stoned?) which characterise nihilism.

The other day another lit classmate (he's the only other lit student taking history elective - my new favourite - too) professed his love for Nietszche (we were discussing Emerson, he was pointing out the similarities between them. self-reliance, self-empowerment etc). I later commented that he seems very cheerful for a nihilist. (the rate of nihilism seems q alarming within e elit cohort. maybe we're all here cos we're desperate for meaning despite what we think we think. I like that desperation.) He said something about making the most out of nihilism, which I didn't q get, cos dat defies the term, I think.

I don't think philosophy appeals to me in its rawest forms (the primary texts), though I like it a lot when someone else interprets it. I know this sort of defeats the purpose of thinking for yourself, but those philosophical texts are so inaccessible! Time, for now at least, is too short for me to try to decipher what they're saying. And I read an article on 联合早报 today. There's this lit professor who manages to convince a student to switch from studying philosophy to english literature, because he thinks she's too 多愁善感. The english term emotional doesn't do justice to that. Anw. I think that applies to me too. I'll try to be the intellectual I think I should aim to be and read philosophy in future, just not now. (to digress again, I think going by my current chinese standard, I can only appreciate c lit through the lens of e lit too: like when the two is juxtaposed together, to elicit the intricacy in each. which kind of sucks, cos i secretly prefer chinese. oh well)

But I think it's quite fulfilling for me to see how stuff within humanities (and maybe social sci) are linking up. I see 'cultural studies' as one overarching theme, am looking for more.
And the option of becoming a teacher is not so repugnant anymore (Huichi's education at NIE seems interesting, esp e film studies part), the problem lies with myself not being worthy enough.

I'm just inspired by the lively intellectual (?) atmosphere, you know.

Hoof! (my sigh of relief)
I finished my assignments AHEAD of time (nevermind if it's less than one day)
but i didn't have assignments before and now suddenly 2 due on e same day.
Now i can focus on studying, i actually miss it (nope i hvnt actually started)
nvm me. :D

tumblr suits me so so so well! no more blogging for me. it gives me the freedom to be piecemeal w/o seeming trivial. heh.

see you at http://undocumented-change.tumblr.com/